OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES When my daughter was about five years old we came out of church on a Sunday morning into quite a summer storm. Most of the congregation was huddled together on the front steps of the church when to my great chagrin my daughter says in a loud and melodious voice, "Look Mommy ... it's raining like hail!" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up. "That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?""Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A heavy snowstorm closed to schools in one town. When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively. "I sure did, teacher," one little girl replied. "I just prayed for more snow." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ On Ash Wednesday, congregants at Kilbourne (Ohio) United Methodist Church were coming forward for the imposition of ashes on their foreheads. Two year old Brenna Wagoner, upset that her mother was not taking her to the altar, was overheard exclaiming: "But I want to get a tattoo just like Daddy's!" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A four year old Catholic boy was playing with a four year old Protestant girl in a children's pool in the backyard. They splashed each other, got very wet and decided to take their wet clothes off. The little boy looked at the little girl and said, "Golly, I didn't know there was that much difference between Catholics and Protestants." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastors son, replied: "That's nothin'. My dad owns hell." "No way," another boy scoffed. "How can a man own hell?" "Sure he can," the preacher's son said. "My mom told my grandma that the elders of our church gave it to him last night." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small town and pointing to it, told the children that it was St. Francis' Church. "It must be a franchise," her eight year old son said. "We've got one of those in our town too." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A Sunday school teacher challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring back their letter the following Sunday. One little boy wrote: "Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish You could have been there." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Bouncing out of her first day in nursery school at Mount Moriah Presbyterian Church in Port Henry, New York, a 3 year old girl gleefully informed her mother: "We had juice and Billy Graham crackers!" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Rev. David A. Stammerjohn, pastor of Laboratory Presbyterian Church, Washington, Pennsylvania, spent a week at the Synod school with his two children. The school's theme focused on Moses and the Exodus. When they returned home, his 5 year old daughter excitedly greeted her mother: "Guess what, Mommy. We made unleaded bread!" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ After Sunday school, FMC member Elsie Huber of Huntington, New York, asked her son what he had learned. "In Him we live and move and have our beans," the boy replied. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A mother overheard her little girl praying:"Now I lay me down to rest. I pray I pass tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, That's one less test I'll have to take." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 4 year old Tucker Jones attended VBS at our church. The theme was "Discipleship and Saving Mother Earth." His mother, Trish Jones, asked Tucker what he had learned. He immediately told her all about "Jesus and the 12 recycles." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ My 5 year old grandson, Daniel Meredith, was taken to church for the first time. On the way home, he asked, "If that is God's house, how come there are cracks in the ceiling?" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6 year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week. "Oh, he's a very busy man." the father replied. "He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor....And then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know. "The boy thought about that, then said: "Well, listening ain't easy, either." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A little boy went to dine with his parents at the home of an elderly gentleman. After watching the old man bow his head and speak in a soft voice, the boy asked his mother: "What did Mr. Bryan say to his plate?" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A Jewish boy in grade school was listening to his Hebrew teacher quoting Scripture. "The Lord our God is One," the teacher declared. "When will He be two?" the youngster asked. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Jr. associate editor Rose Samra was putting her 4 yr. old son Luke to bed when he exclaimed: "I'm exhausted!" "Exhausted?" she said. "Who says that?" "John Michael." replied Luke, who had been listening to a cassette by Christian singer John Michael Talbot. "You know the song that said, 'Be exhausted, O God, among the heavens." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented: "The choir was awful this morning." The father commented: "The sermon was too long." Their 7 yr. old daughter added: "You've got to admit it was a pretty good show for a dime." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I was driving my car when I noticed a young mother from our church walking with her 4 year old daughter. I slowed my car, rolled down the window, and spoke to them for a moment. After I drove away the daughter looked up at her mother and asked, "mommy, isn't that the man who hypnotized me when I was a baby?" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Little John was bothered with a question that he had to ask his Sunday school teacher. "Miss Darvis, are there any animals in heaven?" "I'm not sure, Johnny," answered the teacher. "The Bible doesn't tell us of any animals in heaven." "Oh, there's got to be animals in heaven." insisted Johnny. "What makes you think so?" said the teacher. "Well, everytime there's a thunderstorm, my father says it's raining cats and dogs." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ FMC member Pastor Stan Holdeman of Garden Baptist Church in Indiana, went to an informal church gathering, wearing shorts and a T-shirt. A little girl from a newly-churched family; who had seen him only in his Sunday morning suits loudly proclaimed: "Hey, preacher, you sure look different with clothes on!" ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Benjamin Leese, fifteen, who teaches Sunday school class for the 3rd graders at Trinity Lutheran Church, Pennsylvania, asked his students: "What is a prophet?" One young boy quickly replied, "When someone makes a good investment." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Fr. Harold Cost of Holy family Church in Minnesota recalls hearing the first confession of a second grader who had little to confess. "Do you have any more?" the priest asked. "Sure," the youngster replied, "but I'm saving some for next time." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A sturdy 8 year old boy went for his first confession to FMC member Fr. James Carroll, OMI, pastor of Parish of Blessed Eugene de Mazenod, in Burpengary, Australia. After a few words to put the boy at ease, Fr. Carroll asked: "Would you like to tell me your sins?" "Sure," the boy answered. "Which ones do you want? The good ones or the bad ones?